A girl walks in dressed to the nines. She loudly proclaims 'It's my birthday wooooo!' She has two guys with her - an Abercrombie and Fitch type and a Vanilla Ice wannabe. We'll call them the Bearded Guy and Ice Ice Baby. So bearded guy orders TWO shots, he's very emphatic about it. I didn't catch on and brought 3 but explained I was only going to charge him for two (I didn't want anyone to be left out). Who doesn't like a free shot for their party? But he doesn't seem happy about it.
One time as I'm walking by I hear Bearded Guy say "DUDE, why are you even here?" and Ice says "Don't worry 'bout me, worry 'bout yo girl." and I finally figure out they aren't friends, they are competing over the drunk girl. Well this is easy, bearded guy has an $80 check and is taking care of the girl while Ice Ice Baby is sticking to water. Plus I don't like homey wanna-be's. When Bearded Guy gets up to go to the bathroom I get the story from him. He met the girl at the club and Ice kept staring at them. When they left to come to my place Ice just followed them and attached himself to their party.
I tell him to leave it to me. I call security and tell them we have someone hanging out not buying anything and annoying other guests. Happens all the time, no big deal, they just come tell him to hang out somewhere else. But for whatever reason 4 security guards show up with 2 Las Vegas Metro police officers (slow night I guess)....and they were all gung-ho to haul this guy off. I tell them don't arrest him or anything just get him out of here, please don't even trespass him. They quietly pull him away so the couple doesn't even notice. He has his back to the wall with 6 guys haranguing him and it turns out he got out of jail the night before. But he's free to go and as he is leaving he gets his strut back and yells over to the girl before noticing she is now making out with bearded guy. Ahhh, I created a happy couple!
Then guy #3 comes in and tells birthday girl "Get up, we're leaving." Drunk birthday girl turns around and goes "Hiiii Daddyyyy!" Bearded guy stands up, takes his hand off her chest, and starts stammering. Drunk girl tries to insist she's fine at the bar at 5am with this stranger. Daddy won't take no for an answer, she is coming back up to the room, he's been searching the bars since 4am for his drunk daughter. Bearded Guy yells for a pen and hurries and scribbles his number so she can text him the next day.
Be nice to your bartender. How many wing men would have your competition escorted out by Metro?
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Some tips for doing Las Vegas on the cheap
Set a budget for gambling. Don't go over it, and don't waste it all your first day. A blackjack table can empty you of your money within minutes. Craps is even worse. Bet on a football game, it gives you hours of entertainment with an exact limit to what you spend. Pai Gow is the best table game to play for hours, the nature of the game means you push half the time.
Look for the plenty of free things to do. Plan an event every night. Club night one night, dinner and a show, walk the Strip. For your walk the strip night I suggest you start at Bellagio and see the free fountains. The walk two hotels down to Mirage and watch the free volcano. Walk across the street to a little dive casino called Casino Royale. Get dollar margaritas and play some dollar roulette. Then walk down to Treasure Island and watch the free pirate show. This lets you walk the strip, gamble, drink, and people watch for very little money and in one night.
Don't come out on the obvious holidays. 4th of July, New Years Eve, boxing match nights. The room rates are sky high, you can't get into any clubs and it takes forever to get anywhere. Come in mid-week and you can skip the 3 hour line to get into the best clubs.
Drinking can destroy a budget in no time. My girlfriend and I wandered in to Bellagio when we first moved here just to see what it was like and to get a drink. After ordering two Long Island Iced Teas I received a $50 bar tab. I learned that a flask is your best friend. Your first night make a trip to the store, taxi cab if you have to. Get cases of beer and bottles of liquor along with food. Get your drink on before you go out. You can still get a drink where ever you go, but doing 3 rounds of shots at a night club can cost you $300 for $15 worth of liquor.
Look for the plenty of free things to do. Plan an event every night. Club night one night, dinner and a show, walk the Strip. For your walk the strip night I suggest you start at Bellagio and see the free fountains. The walk two hotels down to Mirage and watch the free volcano. Walk across the street to a little dive casino called Casino Royale. Get dollar margaritas and play some dollar roulette. Then walk down to Treasure Island and watch the free pirate show. This lets you walk the strip, gamble, drink, and people watch for very little money and in one night.
Don't come out on the obvious holidays. 4th of July, New Years Eve, boxing match nights. The room rates are sky high, you can't get into any clubs and it takes forever to get anywhere. Come in mid-week and you can skip the 3 hour line to get into the best clubs.
Drinking can destroy a budget in no time. My girlfriend and I wandered in to Bellagio when we first moved here just to see what it was like and to get a drink. After ordering two Long Island Iced Teas I received a $50 bar tab. I learned that a flask is your best friend. Your first night make a trip to the store, taxi cab if you have to. Get cases of beer and bottles of liquor along with food. Get your drink on before you go out. You can still get a drink where ever you go, but doing 3 rounds of shots at a night club can cost you $300 for $15 worth of liquor.
Nap on a stool
The manager is walking through our private dining room early in the morning. This room has an 18-person table and is surrounded by red wine racks. We have stools in between the racks to reach the top wines. A guy is passed out sitting on one of these very short stools with a napkin for a blanket. He wandered in the back door of the restaurant and decided to take a nap. The manager actually snapped a picture before calling security, wish I had that one.
Completely Useless
A guys stumbles in being escorted by another guy in a suit. The guy in the suit orders a cheeseburger for him, tells him it's the best burger in Las Vegas, then tells him he'll be back in 20 minutes to pick him up. I ask the guy how he wants it cooked and he just stares at me, wasted beyond all redemption. He stands up and I point him to the bathroom, but he sits down again. He stands up. He sits. For the next 20 minutes he goes back and forth, I figure he can't decide to puke or not and get a bucket ready.
The girl next to him is staring. She catches his eye; he wiggles his eyebrows and gives her a "how you doin'?" He can't walk but hitting on women is as autonomic as breathing. His food comes out but he doesn't touch it, stands and sits, stands and sits. I ask the manager what I'm supposed to do; he tells me the guy in the suit is the bouncer from the nightclub, taking care of an important guest. That means the nightclub is dumping their VIP drunk off on me. He must be important to get personal attention, usually they would just kick him out. I ask the manager what I'm supposed to do when he walks out, because the guy isn't coherent enough to eat, much less conduct a transaction. He shrugs his shoulders and tells me it's my responsibility to make him pay. We're a nice restaurant, you don't pay for your food if you don't like it. And here is this man who didn't order his food, hasn't touched it, and the only reason he is here is because he isn't stable enough to walk somewhere else. The manager knew I was referring to chasing him down if he leaves, or if we were going to comp his food he didn't order, but he plays dumb which is totally in-character for him.
The guy stumbles off after 45 minutes and I ask the manager if he really wants me to chase him down and make him pay; I'm not looking forward to physically escorting back a drunk, then trying to get a legal signature off him. The manager ends up going over to the club and making the kids friend's pay. They were dropping a few grand on a table, which means the club didn't want to kick the group out but also didn't want the drunk puking in the club.
The girl next to him is staring. She catches his eye; he wiggles his eyebrows and gives her a "how you doin'?" He can't walk but hitting on women is as autonomic as breathing. His food comes out but he doesn't touch it, stands and sits, stands and sits. I ask the manager what I'm supposed to do; he tells me the guy in the suit is the bouncer from the nightclub, taking care of an important guest. That means the nightclub is dumping their VIP drunk off on me. He must be important to get personal attention, usually they would just kick him out. I ask the manager what I'm supposed to do when he walks out, because the guy isn't coherent enough to eat, much less conduct a transaction. He shrugs his shoulders and tells me it's my responsibility to make him pay. We're a nice restaurant, you don't pay for your food if you don't like it. And here is this man who didn't order his food, hasn't touched it, and the only reason he is here is because he isn't stable enough to walk somewhere else. The manager knew I was referring to chasing him down if he leaves, or if we were going to comp his food he didn't order, but he plays dumb which is totally in-character for him.
The guy stumbles off after 45 minutes and I ask the manager if he really wants me to chase him down and make him pay; I'm not looking forward to physically escorting back a drunk, then trying to get a legal signature off him. The manager ends up going over to the club and making the kids friend's pay. They were dropping a few grand on a table, which means the club didn't want to kick the group out but also didn't want the drunk puking in the club.
This one has photographic evidence
Two young Latino guys come in at 4am. They are expensively dressed with Rolex watches, and obviously years of English classes but no experience actually speaking it. I'm guessing they are privileged rich boys in their country; they have that attitude where they are used to being waited on and never give a thought to how they treat other people. I'll notice this a lot in different cultures. Americans tend to treat service staff with much more respect than most foreigners. I think we look at it differently, many people worked their way through college or have waited on people at some time, while in other countries you would never take a service job if you were in the upper class. Here your server might just be finishing up their masters degree.
These guys have an annoying habit. Anytime they need something they pound on the bar and say "hey hey hey" until I respond. It doesn't matter if I'm in a conversation with someone or making a drink. He also insists on paying as soon as he orders. They order the two most expensive steaks on the menu. The less drunk one gets a beer. The check is around $100, he looks at the tip portion on the credit card slip for a few seconds then crosses it out as soon as he realizes what it means. The more drunk guy falls asleep while waiting for the food to come, I don't bother waking him because I know they'll just ask why the food is taking so long. It's not, but I can tell when people stare at me every time I'm in view that that's what I'll be asked if I'm dumb enough to make eye contact.
The steaks come out and these guys are hunched over their plates, shoveling food in as fast as it will go. One guy gets a piece of fat from the rib eye he's eating and just hocks it out onto his plate. No discretion, doesn't even try to be quiet, just spits it out. A few minutes later his brother does the same thing, but he loudly spits his food onto my bar, almost going over and into my ice. He sees me staring at him and quickly puts his head down and continues eating. I guess deep down he knows what good behavior is, he's just grown up in a situation where he does whatever he wants.
They are slowing down. Their heads get closer and closer to the plate. They each still have their fork in hand. Drunk guy passes out first, puts his hand into the food and rests his head on it. His brother is asleep with his head hanging but in an upright position. I should probably wake them and tell them that's not allowed, but I want nothing to do with them.
I come back a few minutes later. More sober guy is still there with his fork in his hand. More drunk guy has moved his hand and has his face almost nose first into his plate. I leave.
I walk around the bar again and there is another patron taking her picture with the guys. Cute blond girl is trying to put her arms around them while making hand signs for the camera. The hostess is begging me to let her call security, she gets abused so much she loves to be able to give a little back.
Security comes and shakes them both awake. As drunk guy sits up, a piece of potato and a chunk of steak sticks to his face then falls in his lap. His hand is covered in ketchup, which he then wipes all over his shirt. If they had a room in the hotel security would just escort them to bed, if they weren't staying here they were escorted off the property.
TL;DR
These guys have an annoying habit. Anytime they need something they pound on the bar and say "hey hey hey" until I respond. It doesn't matter if I'm in a conversation with someone or making a drink. He also insists on paying as soon as he orders. They order the two most expensive steaks on the menu. The less drunk one gets a beer. The check is around $100, he looks at the tip portion on the credit card slip for a few seconds then crosses it out as soon as he realizes what it means. The more drunk guy falls asleep while waiting for the food to come, I don't bother waking him because I know they'll just ask why the food is taking so long. It's not, but I can tell when people stare at me every time I'm in view that that's what I'll be asked if I'm dumb enough to make eye contact.
The steaks come out and these guys are hunched over their plates, shoveling food in as fast as it will go. One guy gets a piece of fat from the rib eye he's eating and just hocks it out onto his plate. No discretion, doesn't even try to be quiet, just spits it out. A few minutes later his brother does the same thing, but he loudly spits his food onto my bar, almost going over and into my ice. He sees me staring at him and quickly puts his head down and continues eating. I guess deep down he knows what good behavior is, he's just grown up in a situation where he does whatever he wants.
They are slowing down. Their heads get closer and closer to the plate. They each still have their fork in hand. Drunk guy passes out first, puts his hand into the food and rests his head on it. His brother is asleep with his head hanging but in an upright position. I should probably wake them and tell them that's not allowed, but I want nothing to do with them.
I come back a few minutes later. More sober guy is still there with his fork in his hand. More drunk guy has moved his hand and has his face almost nose first into his plate. I leave.
I walk around the bar again and there is another patron taking her picture with the guys. Cute blond girl is trying to put her arms around them while making hand signs for the camera. The hostess is begging me to let her call security, she gets abused so much she loves to be able to give a little back.
Security comes and shakes them both awake. As drunk guy sits up, a piece of potato and a chunk of steak sticks to his face then falls in his lap. His hand is covered in ketchup, which he then wipes all over his shirt. If they had a room in the hotel security would just escort them to bed, if they weren't staying here they were escorted off the property.
TL;DR
Another Drunk Girl of the Week winner
This British chick comes in, all dressed up for her big night out. She's barely coherent, very moody, and needs food. I'm guessing she was in the club next door and needed some food to absorb all the alcohol. She orders a chicken salad and spaghetti (rudely) then promptly falls asleep perched on a tall bar chair. A minute or two after she receives her salad I notice it has spread all over the bar counter. I figure she probably tipped the plate and spilled salad all over the place mat. I'm in automatic cleaning mode as I head over, planning to scoop the spilled food up with the place mat and tidy up a little bit.
As I reach for the plate, her hand darts out: she grabs a fistful of salad and stuffs it into her mouth, glaring at me as she does it. Half of it spills down the front of her dress. I look in her lap and see a pile of food. She's too drunk to use a fork so has reverted back to childhood, eating with her hands while sitting in a high chair. I mouth a silent prayer her spaghetti won't get the same treatment. It doesn't; she can twirl the fork easier than using it as a shovel. However, she can't cut, so she twirls massive amounts of noodles onto the fork and has trouble stuffing it all in at the same time. Her dress is soaking up salad dressing.
She eventually falls asleep with the fork in hand. She starts swaying back and forth, and wakes up with a start just before losing her balance. On a tall chair it is a long fall to the concrete and I'm thinking lawsuit so I look for the manager. I find him standing with a group of women literally four seats down the bar. He is pointing out the drunk girl and saying "Look look look she's gonna fall, she's gonna fall!" So much for alerting the manager about a dangerous situation. He is talking so loud I'm worried she's going to get offended, but she's so out of it she doesn't seem to notice a half-dozen people staring and talking. Everyone seems to expect me to do something about it, but what can I do when the manager already knows the situation? I never even served her a drink. She perks up as her friend joins her. They gossip about guys in the club; she looks better with the distraction.
After 5 minutes security shows up (I'm guessing the manager called them.) They approach the girls, ask how they're doing, is everything all right, etc. The girl friend looks really confused. When drunk girl goes to the bathroom I told her her friend was passed out at the bar and that's why security was checking on them and she says "Oh, I thought it was because we are English or something."
As I reach for the plate, her hand darts out: she grabs a fistful of salad and stuffs it into her mouth, glaring at me as she does it. Half of it spills down the front of her dress. I look in her lap and see a pile of food. She's too drunk to use a fork so has reverted back to childhood, eating with her hands while sitting in a high chair. I mouth a silent prayer her spaghetti won't get the same treatment. It doesn't; she can twirl the fork easier than using it as a shovel. However, she can't cut, so she twirls massive amounts of noodles onto the fork and has trouble stuffing it all in at the same time. Her dress is soaking up salad dressing.
She eventually falls asleep with the fork in hand. She starts swaying back and forth, and wakes up with a start just before losing her balance. On a tall chair it is a long fall to the concrete and I'm thinking lawsuit so I look for the manager. I find him standing with a group of women literally four seats down the bar. He is pointing out the drunk girl and saying "Look look look she's gonna fall, she's gonna fall!" So much for alerting the manager about a dangerous situation. He is talking so loud I'm worried she's going to get offended, but she's so out of it she doesn't seem to notice a half-dozen people staring and talking. Everyone seems to expect me to do something about it, but what can I do when the manager already knows the situation? I never even served her a drink. She perks up as her friend joins her. They gossip about guys in the club; she looks better with the distraction.
After 5 minutes security shows up (I'm guessing the manager called them.) They approach the girls, ask how they're doing, is everything all right, etc. The girl friend looks really confused. When drunk girl goes to the bathroom I told her her friend was passed out at the bar and that's why security was checking on them and she says "Oh, I thought it was because we are English or something."
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Drunk girl of the week
A guy and a girl are sitting at a table, it's around 3am. Apparently they slept together the night before, and this is them getting to know each other's names and such. The girl is wasted, we are refusing to serve her drinks. So this idiot guy keeps ordering drinks and feeding them to her. I'm thinking, what is this guy's goal?? He's already slept with her, and she's already drunk.
So of course what was going to happen happens, and she passes out. Head down limp on the table. A few minutes later I look over, and this guy is picking her up by the hair and making a puppet out of her. Her mouth open, tongue rolling around. Kinda funny actually. Then about the 3rd time he did it I see him hold her up, then just drop her to see what happens....THUNK! Her head bounces off the table.
At this point I call security over. Code blue if there is puke, code 5 for a drunk. When security shows up the guy wants to leave; tells them he doesn't even know her last name therefore she is not his responsibility. They tell him as long as the check is paid they don't care if he leaves. So guess what this asshole does? Grabs her purse and digs around for a credit card to pay the bill. We sent the manager over, he told her since the girl can't hold a pen and he doesn't know her last name we can't accept her card. He gets mad, pays cash, and storms off.
This poor girl wakes up from being shaken by 4 security guards (females because male security isn't allowed to touch females), finds her date gone and a wheelchair waiting for her. She gave me a huge grin when she was wheeled out, she was coherent enough to be embarrassed. Now for the moral of the story: if you pass out in your own hotel, it's no big deal; we simply wheel you up to the room and dump you in bed. But if you aren't staying here, what can we do? We can't dump you in a smelly heap of over-achieved travel ambitions on the Las Vegas Strip. We can't throw you in a cab and slip the cabbie $5 extra to cover the puking you might do. So we put you in an ambulance. That poor girl will get an $880 ambulance bill in a month or so. I know this because my roommate has a bill sent to him every month, which he refuses to pay because he swears on his life he was never carried out of our casino incoherent on a stretcher. And yet the date and time on the bill give our work address at 1am on a Thursday.... just a couple hours after he would have left work.
So of course what was going to happen happens, and she passes out. Head down limp on the table. A few minutes later I look over, and this guy is picking her up by the hair and making a puppet out of her. Her mouth open, tongue rolling around. Kinda funny actually. Then about the 3rd time he did it I see him hold her up, then just drop her to see what happens....THUNK! Her head bounces off the table.
At this point I call security over. Code blue if there is puke, code 5 for a drunk. When security shows up the guy wants to leave; tells them he doesn't even know her last name therefore she is not his responsibility. They tell him as long as the check is paid they don't care if he leaves. So guess what this asshole does? Grabs her purse and digs around for a credit card to pay the bill. We sent the manager over, he told her since the girl can't hold a pen and he doesn't know her last name we can't accept her card. He gets mad, pays cash, and storms off.
This poor girl wakes up from being shaken by 4 security guards (females because male security isn't allowed to touch females), finds her date gone and a wheelchair waiting for her. She gave me a huge grin when she was wheeled out, she was coherent enough to be embarrassed. Now for the moral of the story: if you pass out in your own hotel, it's no big deal; we simply wheel you up to the room and dump you in bed. But if you aren't staying here, what can we do? We can't dump you in a smelly heap of over-achieved travel ambitions on the Las Vegas Strip. We can't throw you in a cab and slip the cabbie $5 extra to cover the puking you might do. So we put you in an ambulance. That poor girl will get an $880 ambulance bill in a month or so. I know this because my roommate has a bill sent to him every month, which he refuses to pay because he swears on his life he was never carried out of our casino incoherent on a stretcher. And yet the date and time on the bill give our work address at 1am on a Thursday.... just a couple hours after he would have left work.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
I've been bamboozled!
3 young obnoxious kids come in, just over 21 or so. They sit at the bar and I can tell their maturity level is at about a junior high level. These are the type of people I see all the time, their idea of a good drink is whatever has the most alcohol in it. If they order a whisky coke they want a glass full of whisky with a splash of coke. Not because they are whisky coniseurers, but because they think they just got a great deal on extra alcohol! The girl apologizes for her 2 guy friends, says she's a bartender too and she knows what it's like. Her boyfriend asks the prices on numerous drinks, looking for the most alcohol for no money. He asks me for 'the buddy hook up.' Now he's no buddy of mine, but since she's a bartender I know that they will hook me up if I hook them up. So I tell him if he orders the double he wants I'll just charge him for one. He asks for a 'man's drink,' after I suggest whisky on the rocks or a black russian, I give up and suggest an overly sweet bright yellow pineapple concoction I serve to chicks....turns out that's just what he is looking for. I make him the pineapple drink then pour a double shot of vodka and charge him for a martini, saving him about $10. He gives me exact change and I figure he'll leave the tip when he leaves.
I come back to check on them and he points to some spilled vodka on the bar rack, and complains that she spilled his drink! I've already figured these guys are going to be hooking me up big time, so I give him another double shot for free. An hour later they are still there and I'm getting worried. I stop by to give him the 15 cents change he had coming, and I made sure to show it to the girl.
I walk around the corner and 30 seconds later they're gone. I walk over and....he took the dime and left me the nickel. I guess that's my tip for hooking him up. Controlling my rage, I get a suspicion and go over to the "spill." Yeah, it's water. They knew exactly what they were doing, and finageled me for free alcohol. I can't believe that after 5 years living in Vegas I just got taken by a bunch of tourists! It's just the principle of the matter. God I hope they come in again, I will make up a story and have them 86'd from the casino.
I come back to check on them and he points to some spilled vodka on the bar rack, and complains that she spilled his drink! I've already figured these guys are going to be hooking me up big time, so I give him another double shot for free. An hour later they are still there and I'm getting worried. I stop by to give him the 15 cents change he had coming, and I made sure to show it to the girl.
I walk around the corner and 30 seconds later they're gone. I walk over and....he took the dime and left me the nickel. I guess that's my tip for hooking him up. Controlling my rage, I get a suspicion and go over to the "spill." Yeah, it's water. They knew exactly what they were doing, and finageled me for free alcohol. I can't believe that after 5 years living in Vegas I just got taken by a bunch of tourists! It's just the principle of the matter. God I hope they come in again, I will make up a story and have them 86'd from the casino.
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